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BoogaBasement
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Name: Kuida [Queed-uh]
Location: Hawaii, United States
Gender: Female
Interests: Hundralina Jones Your Steal Horse Ridin Cow Girl. Lyrically Addicted. Verbally Inclined. Child of Neo-Funk, Jazz, n' Soul. Lover of HipHop, Dancehall, n' R&B.
Expertise: Reppin The Hawaiian/Africano Pride..Simply Soulful With My Jazzyfatnastees..
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/28/2003
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| Rotation: The Outside Lookin In - Frankie J
see, how the trees dance in the wind
and listen, how the wind whipsers among the branches.
there are moments in which i believe
this is all i need to live
this sight
this sound
then all the rest fades to the corners of my perception
i have reached out and captured this moment
i am enraptured by the thought of our embrace
and tears of simple, sublime joy fall from my eyes
i remember i am alive
and grateful
and my face is the mirror you should look into
and my hands are feathers of fire onto your soul
and my kiss is a deadly flower you should never caress.
Prelude»» I must admit that my mind has a become a motely collage of raw blistering emotion. The pace of production and sudden splurge from one idea to another has got me stuck. Not able to assemble, compress or organize the emotion that invoked the thought. Not long enough for me to put thoughts into words and words into ink. To the point where I'm drowning in the thoughts of my head and body whipsers peace.. Truthfully, I am fantically addicted.
Answered Prayer»» At times the weight of the immediate has me unable function properly. The stagnancy of routine, the monotony of every day, the shadiness of individual character has got me wanting rest. But something has changed. Something causes me to look foward to my morning, afternoon, and night. Something that isn't a temporary solution or a tourniquet for a quick fix. Something thats real and reliable. That something can be summed up in one word, Isaac - the most constant friend a girl could have.
Tha Starvin Artist»» I am undecided if I should uproot and relocate to yet another sn. hmmm? I will have to wait till this lil shindig expires but until then the idea is up in the air...I am heavily decided on "ThaStarvinArist"..
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| Happiness is a mediocre standard for a middle class existance
Relationships»» In relation to the parentals it longer exists. My mom is off always doing something for her immediate benefit never stopping to remember she left a daughter of somewhere - alone. Everyone always talks about how hard it is to go through life as a boy without a dad or a girl without a father but what about a girl without a mom? I have never spent a full day with my mom until this past summer when she moved to Mililani and she was my last resort to get to work. But I've noticed that when I needed her most especially during teenage years she's never there. My dad, I swear, has a split personality. He can be funny and cool do hang out with and then turn into this rage infused person who is in desperate need of anger management. This morning he called me and I asked him a question and his answer was you need slaps right on the back of your head. He tells me that everyday and I don't need to hear that kinda crap every day of my life. I yelled at him and hung up...My Grandma totally bitched me out Saturday morning for reasons that weren't apparent.. All I know is I did not bust my ass this whole week, and find comfort in the thought of fall break for it to be made hell of. - - "Someone Said Boiling Point?"
»» Saturday I had an awesome time with Isaac. We saw the rundown with yours truly, the rock. That movie was an all around great movie. But I especially enjoyed Isaac's company because time spent with him was really refreshing. Something new. I've encountered so many shady people this far into life, Its great to know that theres still hope. The next day me, Sara, Raymond & Jerell (I'll post pics later) went surfing at Haleiwa. The waves were spectacular and consistant. Usually at Sunset the waves rise and set in intervals but at Haleiwa they were everywhere.
Smilez»» I hate to speak to soon but I am so proud of River. He has made such an effort to regain our former statis. He calls me every day now and tells me what his agenda is for the rest of the day so I can really understand why it is that he can't be callin all the time. The Police Academy is rough these days, I hear. | | |
| Forever •
... I AM the
relationship junkie...
sick
twisted
conflicted
afflicted...
its been a while since we last spoke...
...i'm speechless...i'm sitting here trying to find the right language to convey this feeling, but words just dont do him justice...this is crazy...but once i fell heavily, who could have predicted that my poetic genius would have dried up....i wanna write like i've never written before....sonnets, hiakus, iambic pentameterific supernovas that'll crack pages and break comp screens...but i'm stuck..
...I honestly must be stupid because no matter how much he boils my blood and causes steam to rise through my veins and pour out my ears - I will always go back for more. The other night I was so upset with his habit of "i'm sad so i'll go pout ALONE" that no possible good could have come from the conversation. marathon phone calls leave me drained and wanting. I want to exist in a world uninhabited by lingering obligations and re-occuring stagnancy. My island as I know it could drift and sink into the Pacific, my friends could up and leave, but as long as I have his ear to speak to and his heart to belong to - why should it matter? I want to be free. For once I would like to sleep without worrying about something I didn't do and seriously needed to. I want to speak and visit with the jude of my heart and forget that the world even rotates. I want to surf at Waikiki and remember what it feels like to be enamoured by freedom and defiance. I want to listen to James Brown and dance till I feel better.
..I am entirely displeased with myself.. I am not the way I would like to be in a few areas..
It seems as tho I fall at a constant pace
never getting ahead in this external race,
never finding the answers to save my rainy days
At times I am drowning in the thoughts of my head and I just need to hear his voice and more often than not he's "i'm sorry the caller you are trying to reach is unavailable". I just want to compile my life and assemble it into something that remotely resembles sense. Is that so much to ask? honestly is it?
Tomorrow school will close for fall break and I will colapse from exhausten. I need to hear from DreDre UGH!! I'm so fickle!
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| The emotions inside me have reached its pinicle. I have reached the boiling point and come out with a break through. I've been backed up into a corner and I ain't gonna be pushed no more. I don't care what or who it costs me some things are gonna change around here or all this unnecessary stuff is gonna be the death of me. I'm not gonna allow this "drama" to cause me more turmoil and anquish than I need to put up with. Drama is not a human obligation that we all must bare. Drama is excess, unwanted and unneeded stuff and its gon go. period.
[1] I've about took all I can take with this here river of mine. I reached the boiling point where I didn't care if his feelings were hurt, I didn't care if he hated me by the end of the conversation - I was gonna say what I was gonna say and either he was gonna be the man I know him to be and work through and solve some things or I was gonna make his ears bleed and then make him contiplate the extremes. Patience is a precious virtue but blind hope in nothing is plain stupidity. I love him more than I have in me to love. He's not a jerk, he's not a but face - he's just human.
[2] I am sick and tired of one my brothers and my sister they just plain ridiculous. They have monumental problems and the world should take a minute and acknowledge them but as the world turns you have to move on. People need to stop letting their history affect their destiny. Something happened in the past YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT the only person your gonna hurt is yourself. My mom is bending over backwards trying to help River do what he needs to do and she gottah worry about the rest of her kids pining away passionately at idleness. Pity is such self induced pain. The only person that is gonna show up at your pity party is YOU. We need to start praising God when things are horrible and be faithful in the unbareable things. If only people knew how God has helped me You'd Thank God For Me. My brother and sister aren't stupid, they ain't mentally retarded, or physically handicaped but they act as if their lives have some huge restriction, something has got them bound up tight and they need to be loosened in the name of Jesus or I'm gonna burst a blood vessel and kill the both of um. They are struggle in my life for unmentioned reasons.
[3] I'm sick and tired of being inconsistant in each class with my grades. I'm not gonna settle. A whole bunch of stuff has been hindering me from what I want to accomplish academics wise and it isn't working out anymore. I have a goal but I'm not focused. Obstacles are the things you see when your not focused on your goal.
Remember kiddies the person who complains the loudest sufferes the least. And no matter how much it hurts or how awful life has suddenly become it could always be worse. You could be dead but because life has found a home in your body ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
Sometimes I wonder about Heaven. I wonder if Heaven was just a mile away would forget about life and just go. Would I choose to meddle and try to fix things that I have no control over or just stroll through those gates and simply be. Sometimes life seems so hard it makes me think that death has got to be easy. I want to apologize for your misconceptions and formulated opinions based on lies about me. I love everyone. I love every single person at school and whoever told you otherwise sadly misinformed you. If my actions lead to you to believe so, forgive me, sometimes I'm so worried about that boulder in my eye I never stop to notice the toothpick in yours or even you.
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